Still Here
by RoMythe
Summary: Will's being led away to Skandia, and Halt's searching for him. All the missed thoughts during that time of our favorite characters. Long songfic. Rated for torture  whipping


~This idea randomly popped up when I was listening to- what else- 'Still here' from Stereo. Great band by the way. Anyway, I though the song fitted perfectly with this idea. Only now I have a problem tomorrow; I'm never going to finish my math in time. :O oh dear… So, please enjoy for this is at cost of my homework. :)_****_

~~~~Still here~~~~  
_  
__**It's like someone is watching  
**__  
_In his mind, he could see those dark, unwavering eyes bore into his. Then they changed into the eyes he'd seen after the boar's hunt. Now they were.. frightened. For him?

_**Like someone is close, I can feel you, so near**___

He closed his own eyes, his imagination let him away from the paddles to a peaceful green area in a forest. He saw someone_… Tug? No… it changed. It looked like…_

_**I'm reaching for something  
**__  
Halt? Please help me, someone_… _help me_, he thought. He thought about his mentor… his _father_. The only thing he'd left were memories of him, of his other friends, Alyss, Horace, Tug. And he clung to them with all the willpower he'd left.

_**Please give me a sign, getting warm but still cold**_

And he clung to them with all the willpower he'd left in this freezing hell. When would they come? When would he be warm again?

_**Every shadow I see looks more and more like you did  
**__  
_One day, he really thought he had seen him.

Halt.

Between the trees of the large forests of Skandia.  
For a moment, he was silent. Then, a shock through his spine, through his body, sending shivers all over and making his stomach jump. Forgetting his work, he'd ran to the pine trees, yelling loudly.

**"Halt!"  
**  
When he'd come there, Halt was gone. Only a misshapen branch and a tree were left on the place he'd been so sure to see him.

_No…  
_  
He fell on his knees before being dragged away by two guardians.

He didn't even feel the pain of the whip on his back.

The pain in his heart was, far, far worse.

_**Why do you have to be so far away**_

In the beginning, he had Evanlyn. Now she was gone, and he'd nothing left, no one to be comforted by or to comfort.  
Only his memories. They played the scene on the bridge all over. _Horace… Would he be alright?_  
But the thing what played every night in his dreams, his _nightmares,_ was the farewell.

He saw the tiny figure on the horse coming quickly over the dunes, and into the water. The next he knew were arrows flying over the deck.

But not one came even close to him.

For one moment, Will knew Halt would save him. But when they drifted away and that lonely figure stopped shooting, he knew Halt wouldn't. Couldn't, he reprimanded himself. If Halt could, he would.

He had considered jumping over the rail and swimming the whole end back, but there was Evanlyn.  
He couldn't leave her.

So all he could do was to watch the figure becoming smaller and smaller while tears trailed of his cheeks.

_**'Cause I'm still here**_

And here he was. In the freezing cold, somewhere in Skandia. In what they called a city. He snorted, earning a stern look from the guard, and he'd quickly shut his mouth and went on with his work. He knew what would happen if he didn't.

_**Who will be there, if I need you today**_

The first time they punished him was because he dropped the stick he needed to break through the ice. His hands were just too cold- the ragged cloth he'd covered them wasn't enough protection.

The first blow hit him hard in the back.

Will staggered, but he had no strength left to fight back.

Then, a second guard came, laughing and saying something to the other. His frozen ears however didn't understand what was said. But he would soon find out. Too soon.

The Skandians had dragged him away to a large wooden flagpole, and bound him with his hands above his head, and ripped the shirt from his chest.

The icy wind hit him like a thousand little needles.

He tried to look back, but he received a blow and he didn't try again.

Once he would have.

Will knew what would come- he'd seen other slaves being punished. He braced himself, and then-

_**Hissss slap!  
**_  
Will moaned. The area the whip had hit him burned like _hell_.

And he'd still eighteen more to go.

After the fourth, he couldn't stop himself as tears flowed over his cheeks, freezing instantly. He tried to get away but-

_**Hissss slap!  
**_  
Number nine was his breaking point. He cried out lout when they hit him.

The yelling changed into words, names, when they continued whipping him.

_**"Halt!"**_

Will had lost count. The screaming had stopped. His throat ached, burned like his back, and all he could do was couch and whimper.

After the last, they roughly released him, and he fell to the ground, his back bloody and raw.

They'd laughed, and kicked him. Then, when he didn't react, one had dumped him in the shelter for the slaves.

He hid the ground hard, on his back and he screamed without sound.

Merciful unconscious consumed him soon thereafter.

_**Cause I'm still here  
**_  
The next day, he was working by the paddles again. This time he made sure he wouldn't drop the stick. Or next time. Or the time thereafter… He would wait. But for what? 

_**When I talk will you listen  
**_  
"He knows what you'll ask, Halt. He doesn't want to refuse you, so he refuses to see you"

Halt felt bitter anger replace the betrayal and surprise he felt when he heard Crowley's words.

One moment he didn't know what to say. Twenty years he'd served the King, and now…  
"Then I'll just have to change his mind" he heard himself say quietly. Halt saw Crowley's eyes widen momentarily. Then he abruptly turned around, and left with a whirling cloak.

When he road Abelard, an idea formed in his mind. A disgusting, humiliating idea.

But he'd do everything for that Will. The boys he more considered as a _son_. 

_**'Cause if everything's said, why am I still waiting**_

When the judgment was said, Halt was shocked. He was banished, but not for life? He looked at the King in silent gratitude. Duncan knew Halt wouldn't wait any longer, and this way, they'd both not defy any rules. Well.. sort of.

_**And the shadows I see look more and more like you did**_

The first weeks were the hardest. When travelling through Gallica with only Abelard as company, he felt everything he missed ten times harder.

_Will… His silver oak leaf… His home… Gilan… Pauline…_

His thoughts stopped abruptly by the last one, and he grunted. He couldn't think about that, he thought. He wouldn't let his thoughts get the best of him.

At night, he'd nightmares. Once, he woke up, sweat on his face and eyes full of tears.

In his nightmare, Will died. From what he didn't know.

He looked frantically around, chest heaving. Every shadow looked like him, like death.

Then he paced around, trying to settle himself.

He swallowed hardly and tried to convince himself it wasn't true.

He hadn't failed.  
_  
Not yet_, his traitorous mind told him.

While he was battling his own mind, Abelard somehow noticed his distress, and came to him, whinnying softly. When he reached Halt, he pushed his head against his master's chest.

Halt accepted the warmth gratefully. Until he would find Will, his heart would stay cold though. He laid his callused hands against the sides of the horse's head and then he looked into the intelligent eyes.  
It was like Abelard knew what was going on.

"We'll find him" Halt whispered, and laid his head against his horses.

Tears trailed over the rough cheeks into his beard.

_ I promise, _ was his last thought. 

_**Why do you have to be so far away;  
**_

Skandia seemed a life time away. Especially if you have no one to accompany you, Halt thought. Abelard made a snorting sound, as if he wanted to say; _"You have me"_

Halt scratched Abelard behind his ear and answered.

"But you can't talk, Abelard. You won't answer"

The smart horse had already an answer ready.

_"You seem to think I can." _His keen eyes said._  
_  
Halt felt a smile tugging at his lips for the first time in weeks.

"_You will never win from a ranger's horse"_, was one of the first lessons he had taught Will.

It seemed he himself still hadn't learned that one.

Abelard whinnied in agreement. 

_**'Cause I'm still here**_

The days turned into weeks, and Halt found himself more determined to find Will.  
Because, every day, he'd come a little bit closer to his apprentice.  
He ushered Abelard forward, a new gleam in his dark eyes. 

_**Who will be there, if I need you today  
**_

When he met Horace, Halt felt more than happy to have the young man as company with him. Not that he would show that, of course.

The first questions, were like music to him, and the never ending curiosity of the youth never failed to amaze him. But still, Horace was not Will. Horace was a knight. Will was a ranger. Like him.

But Will was somewhere in Skandia. Horace was her.  
He heard Horace babbling over the delicious meal they had yesterday at an inn. The sweet innkeepster had obviously felt the motherly impulse to feed the young man when they came in soaked wet.  
And of course, she'd totally forgotten him. When he tried to ask her something, she snapped something along the line of;

"I'm busy! Can't you see that?" and went over to Horace who looked very happy.

When Halt sat down and watched Horace eat, no- wolf his food down, he pulled up an eyebrow. Then, Horace noticed him, and stared at him for a moment.

"Wannahavsomechickn?"

Halt pulled up the other eyebrow amused.

Horace motioned with a hand to his food.  
That Halt understood.

The chicken smelled delicious. Halt looked at him with the question "are you sure?" in his eyes, but Horace nodded. So he took a leg en chewed slowly on it. Now he understood why Horace enjoyed it so much. His eyes twinkled when he looked at Horace, and the boy smiled back, mouth full of food.

Halt's eyes laughed. 

_**'Cause I'm still, you know that I'm still here**_

Will didn't know how long he was here in Skandia. He and Evanlyn had escaped, but he couldn't remember. Actually, there was almost nothing he could remember. Evanlyn told him everything, from his addiction, Erak, and their escape. When he heard Erak's name, he'd frowned. Erak? Helping them? It seemed there was still hope left in this barren world.  
Will was still weak from the warmweed, though he really tried to help. Slowly, he and Evanlyn fell into an easy routine. It was almost like they were home.

Almost

_**All the time I saw you try to make it undone**_

Will woke up yelling, waking up Evanlyn in the process.  
He just relived the whole incident by the bridge, but mainly the part he saw Halt coming closer and trying to save him

_**Your toughest fight but you carried on**_

Halt imagined everything his apprentice had done at the bridge, how brave but foolish the three had burned down the bridge and fought a battle they couldn't win. He imagined what it was to be there, in Skandia. And he heard himself saying his last words to Will;

_**And I know that you've been telling me to hold on**_

"_I'll find you Will!" _ it echoed in his mind. Over and over. He panted, and shuddered. Suddenly, Evanlyn was there, and the next thing he knew were a pair of arms around him. He gratefully accepted her comfort, and he tightened their embrace. Halt wasn't here, but Evanlyn was. And for now, that was enough.

_**Why do you have to be so far away;**_

Horace got more and more excited when they got closer to their lost friend. Halt too, only he didn't voice the question;

_Were they almost there?_

_**'Cause I'm still, you know that I'm still here**_

When the snow began to meld, Will knew it was almost spring, and then they had to move on. Then, a sudden thought entered his mind.  
_  
If it was almost spring, then they were here for… what was it? Over half a year? Definitely,_ his mind answered him. _So long…_

he sighed.

_And they were still here…_

_**I'm still here**_

But no, they were not there yet

_**Still here**_

The sun broke through. It was very close to spring now, and Evanlyn and Will became more and more nervous with every day passing by.

Soon, they would have to move.

But for now, they were still here.

_**Still here, still here, still here**_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The End!

Liked it? Loved it? I hope so. I still think there are far too less stories describing Will/Halt's emotions while Will was in Skandia. Please leave a review- maybe- I repeat: maybe I could write the reuniting. But only if you want that.

Oh, and, for all the people who read this: check out my story the Final Flood. It's about Will not making it to Skandia. There's also an poll for the people who have already read it on my profile. Please take a look at it. :D


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